2018 Taught Me

I’m writing this because I was asked to and so I dedicate this post to you Julia Purdy.

2018 has been crazy.

Somedays I felt like I would die from all the pain and sadness that was in my heart, and somedays I felt like I was going to explode from the amount of love that was in my soul.

But the one thing that this year did for me, if anything. Is help me to rediscover myself, rediscover the world around me, and rediscover my passions.

1. The Importance of Love. It taught me that love is the number one force in the universe. It taught me that everything stems from love, and that if I didn’t have love for myself, the world would not show love to me. Because you cannot have what you cannot hold.

2. The importance of friendship. Due to heartbreak I vowed never to be codependent or over-reliant on anyone. I vowed to need nothing, and to need no one. 2018 taught me that pushing everyone away was a recipe for disaster and a lonely, loveless life. Balance was the key to the equation. This year taught me the divine dichotomy of allowing myself to be okay with needing people, while needing no one at all.

3. How to embrace the feminine within. Growing up, I thought I wasn’t girly enough because I didn’t get my nails done, obsess about clothes or purses, wear makeup and do all the things most girls do when they are becoming teenagers or adults. I was insecure, and never thought I was worthy of the type of love I saw on TV. In my eyes I didn’t compare to those girls. But this year taught me that those external things, are not what makes a woman. They are not what ignites the Divine Goddess within. Embracing the feminine within means allowing yourself to feel emotions, allowing yourself to speak your truth, embracing your creativity and sexuality, nurturing and caring for yourself, giving life to your dreams and passions, embracing the sacredness of the womban and of the Divine being that lives within. The Divine being that I AM. 2018 taught me that I AM a GODDESS & this I now know to be true.

4. The importance of purpose. Once I started realizing my purpose, and finding the things that I loved, life started to get a little less depressing, and more inspiring. My heart started to open up, the illusion started to crack, my soul could once again breathe, and slowly I started to experience these little moments that could only be described as alignment. Moments where I knew without a doubt, that whatever I was doing, THAT was where I was supposed to be. In that moment right there. Focusing and living in the present moment. The end of this year really helped to zero in on why I do what I do. Why I play music, why I write entries like this, why I make short films, songs and poems. And the secret is, it’s all for you. My soul’s work is my art. It is my soul’s expression. And in that expression, when I am creating, I am bridging the gap between my heart and my soul. It’s therapeutic, it’s freeing, it’s healing. And if the outcome of my healing happens to ignite that same healing in you so be it. If It sparks something that encourages you to come back home to yourself, to your divinity and the pure essence that is YOU, in the process? How can I complain. What I give to myself, I give to others, when I heal myself, I heal the world <3

5. There Is nothing to become, there is everything to BE. This summer I drove 2 hours into the deserted mountains into a town of 1,500 people in an attempt to find myself. I ended up leaving with revitalizing Berkshire Mountain air in my system and the realization that all I had to do to find myself, was search within. I left Connecticut to become something, or someone different than who I was before I left. And came back to Connecticut the same old me, just with a different mindset. We search the globe trying to find ourselves in these external things with no avail. Only, when we start journeying the inner depths of our soul, is when the real change starts to happen.

On this last day of this T R A N S F O R M A T I O N A L year, I am extremely grateful for 2018. I entered with the intention of finding myself, remembering Who I Am, why I am here, and what I wanted to do with my life.

Now I exit this year, knowing and loving Who I Am. Understanding that I was never lost, just covered by all the baggage, and with the most important truth known to woman.

All there is to do is Be.

Me.

Happy New Year!

May your 2019 be filled with everything you worked for in 2018. May your new year be a year of love, abundance, and blessings.

And So It Is.